Thank God for Garbage Trucks

short story by Alex Forbes

I was a federal agent. No, no, not a regular agent. We were deputized. We were the good guys, you know. The bad guys were rogue federal agents. They went around shooting people without probable cause, you know. They liked to snoop without a warrant just in case someone said something they didn’t like. We were outnumbered. They were looking for us.

And they were better armed, too. They carried Glock 9mm automatics, and Army assault rifles. I think I carried a Colt revolver; I forget. I never use the damn things any more; they make too much noise. We were supposed to take them down, those rogue agents, but they always had us on the run. I remember one incident where I was trying to escape, climbing a crumbling mud embankment that came apart in my  hands as I clawed at it. But they were after someone else that day.

I knew all my team buddies from the old days. They shot Larry, my old college room-mate. There was good old Leonard, a black co-worker back in simpler times. He used to play the sweetest swing-time blues you ever heard, on his alto sax. He was too gentle a guy for a job like this. I think he got away though.

They finally caught me. I think it was on that embankment. You didn’t have to surrender. When they got you, you knew it. They had a Glock planted on the back of my head. They were yelling at me. I didn’t say anything to them, because after a while I couldn’t hear them any more. I was just kneeling there. In the mud.

I heard this loud CRASH! BANG! and I said to myself, “Hell, this is no good.” I couldn’t hear, but I heard a voice. It sounded like Larry.

The voice told me, “You are the new Savior. He wants you to go forth into the world and make it right again.” That is when I knew I was dead.

Next I heard that sound again, that loud CRASH! BANG! and everything became clear to me.

“Damn, that’s the garbage truck, down on the boulevard. It must be about five o’clock. I gotta get up and pee.”

So I got up to face the new day. I made the coffee. It is good to be alive. Thank God for garbage trucks.

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