Hardworking Farm Boy

You’ve all seen the ad. But what was the story? Is it true what they say about love?

The Rosetta Stone ad

Dear Mamma Mia,

This is a picture of the boy I was telling you about. One look and I knew he must be mine.

But only if he learns to speak Italiano! Oh Mamma, I know there are so many differences between us! He is a simple farm boy from Kansas. I am an Italian supermodel. Oh Mamma, I know he is not even the most handsome of catches – he has that dumb but determined look, that cute “I can’t believe I just stepped in that cow pie” expression I adore so much.

I could make this work. I would give up the supermodel business and raise his family. I would take care of the books. I would attend the 4H events and root for our children. I would even give up our villa in Lido. Oh, forgive me, Mamma, but you and Papa are already set for life. Of course you could keep the chauffeur and our Gulfstream … and you could come and visit your grandchildren in Kansas.

But he knows he would have just one chance to impress me. If he can get his Master’s at Harvard, he can surely do this one small thing for me. And I know he will. Then, somehow, we will make our future come together with his down-to-earth American know-how. In America, you know, even a man of the soil can provide a respectable living for his family.

I even learned his name the other day. I think it is cute. You know how the poor in America are given to overly-fancy names? Mamma, can you believe, he calls himself Archer Daniel Midland … get this, the third.

All my love to you and Papa,


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