Dear Abby (by Alex)

Gentle Reader, Alex is filling in today.

Dear Abby: My husband and I are having a disagreement … he has two children, ages 17 and 13, who live with their mother and stepfather. He always gives them generous gifts … (but) they never give my husband any gifts. — HAD IT

Dear Had It: THAT woman is obviously the source of all the problems in your otherwise lovely home life. She should serve hard time for the thoughtlessness of your stepchildren. As for them, they should be disinherited. In the future, your husband can get back into your good graces by lavishing expensive gifts on you instead, since you deserve them more than any one else.

Dear Abby: What is the proper reply to a business acquaintance who sends a notice, with pictures, announcing that he was married two weeks earlier? – ASKANCE

Dear Askance: How rude! You are perceptive in grasping that you should have been invited to a wedding, and in fact this deliberate slight must not be overlooked. Assert your moral authority. You should return this notice to the business acquaintance, with instructions to stick his notice where the sun don’t shine. If it was an e-mail notice, be sure to “Reply to All”, and “cc” Corporate as well.

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