WWJD

One theory is that Jesus would tool around in an old Plymouth because the Bible says, "God drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden of Eden in a Fury."

But in Psalm 83, the Almighty clearly owns a Pontiac and a Geo. The passage urges the Lord to "pursue your enemies with your Tempest and terrify them with your Storm."

Possibly God favors Dodge pickup trucks because Moses' followers are warned not to go up a mountain "until the Ram's horn sounds a long blast."

But then some scholars insist that Jesus drove a Honda but didn't like to admit it. As proof, they cite a verse in St. John's gospel where Christ tells the crowd, "For I did not speak of my own Accord..."

Meanwhile, Moses drove a British roadster, as evidenced by a Bible passage declaring that "the roar of Moses' Triumph is heard in the hills."

Joshua no doubt drove a Triumph with an aftermarket slip-on muffler because: "Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land."

And, following the Master's lead, the Apostles car pooled in, you got it, a Honda: "The Apostles were in one Accord."

Credits: Sept. 6, 2000. Adapted from columns written by Scott Ostler of the San Francisco Chronicle and Roy Rivenburg of offkilter.org and the Los Angeles Times. Distributed by Creators Syndicate. Mr. Rivenburg maintains a website at Off-Kilter.