Veni, Vidi, Velcro


Fractured Latin Sayings

"Bibo ergo sum" (I drink, therefore I am)

"Carp Diem" (gone fishing today)
"Carp Diem".(sieze the fish)
"Carp Diem" (the fish of the day!)
"Carp Duo" (Batman and Robin went fishing)
"Carpe Denim" (Seize the Pants)
"Carpe Infernum Decorum? " (Who the hell took my rule book?)
"Carpe Jugulum" (sieze the throat)
"Crape Diem" (Shitty Day)

"Coupe de Crass" (ugly car)
"Coup Degas" (buying a famous painting cheap)
"Coup Degauss" (my monitor is doing funny again)
"Coup de Grass" (thatched hut)
"Coupe de Grace" (Grace's car.)
"Coupe de Grass" (mo de lawn)

"Cogito Ergo Simp" (My mind is...umm what's a mind? )
"Cogito Ergo Sink" (Hey, get off my head!)
"Cogito Ergo Sub" (My thoughts are below the surface)
"Cogito Ergo Sub" (I've been thinking too hard, I need a sandwich ...)
"Cogito Eggo Sum" (I think, therefore, I am a waffle.
"Cogito Ergo Summit" (I think I'm at the top of a mountain...)
"Cogito Ergo Sumo" (I'm wrestling with my thoughts ...)
"Cogito Ergo Sump" (My mind is in the sewer...)
"Cogito Ergo Stump" (I think, therefore, I am puzzled)
"Cogito Ergo Zoom" (I think, therefore, I drive fast)

"Dulce et decorum est pro Pat Morita" (I love those Karate Kid movies)

"Encino Veritas" (Is this truly California?)
"Espresso, ergo cogito." (as they say in Seattle)
"Hasta la visa" (I'll charge it later)

"I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam"
"I am therefore I think." (I am thinking, therefore thinking is me.)

"In Hock Signo" (I signed over everything to my creditors)
"In Sino Veritas" (The Chinese really know what they're talking about)

"I stink, therefore I smell." Pepe Le Pew
"I think I'm a sweet potato."
"I think, therefore I yam." Mr. Potato Head
"I think I am thinking that I am thinking that I am thinking that I am... "
"I think therefore I am. Descartes"
"I sink, therefore I swam." (Lusitania survivor)
"I think therefore I am. Descartes" (I think I think. Therefore I think I am. Dehorse)
"I think therefore I am," I think.
"I think therefore I am. I think I think." Therefore I think I am.
"I thinks, therefore, I is."
"I Yam what I Yam." Popeye
"Judge Ito Ergo Sum" (You're a racist, therefore I am innocent...)

"Non Illigiti Carborundum" (Don't let the bastards grind you down)
"Sic Biscuitus Desintegrat" (that's the way the cookie crumbles)
"Sic Semper Tyrannis" (Barney is REALLY ill)

"Veni, V.D., Vici" (I came, I saw, I cankered.)
"Veni, Vid, Visla. " (Have you seen my dog?)
"Veni, Vidi, Cuccuri" (I came, I saw, I ran)
"Veni, Vidi, Vegi" (I came, I saw, I had a salad)
"Veni, Vidi, Velcro" (I came, I saw, I stuck around.)
"Veni, Vidi, Vinny" (I came, I saw, I got an offer I couldn't refuse.)
"Veni, Vidi, Vino" (I came, I saw, I got drunk)
"Veni, Vidi, Visa" (I Came, I Saw, I Bought.)
"Veni, Vidi, Visa" (I Came, I Saw, I Shopped)
"Veni, Vidi, Vista" (I came, I saw, what a great view)
"Vidi, Veni, Visa" (I saw, I came, I spent)
"Vidi Vinini Mortis" (I saw Windows was locked up again)
"Vini Vidi Vici V.D." (Boy, was I ever drunk...)
"Volvo, Video, Velcro" (I Came, I Saw, I Stuck Around)


Return to HUMOR Index
The 100 MPH Goat
12 Apostles
21st Century Words
400 Trillion Trillion Pints of Beer
6th Grade Science
Age Barometer
Air Force Squawk Sheets
Alcohol WARNINGS
Amazing new discovery
Another Attorney Joke
Arthritis
Aviation Humor
Badtimes Virus
Bagpiper
Bagpipes
Bar Shorts
Bear and Pastor
Beer Festival
Beer and Flies
Richard's Believe it or not!
Best Diet
Bigger Guns
Biggest State!
Bill Clinton and St. Peter
1994's Most Bizarre Suicide
Fixin' To Sing The Blues
Boat Race
Bricklayer's Story
British newspapers
Bulwar-Lytton
By The Numbers
Cat Diary
Catholic School
Cats Top Ten
Chattanooga Choo Choo - NEW!
Cheerios
Chicken
Church
Church Memorial Plaque
Worst Commencement Advice
Corporate Compliance
Computer Haiku
Confessional
Congressman
Copy
Cow Strikes Trawler
Cowboy Jim
Crow Mystery Solved - NEW!
Cute Spell Checker
Candidate for Darwin Award...
Dead Horse
Defendant's Arm
Depressed At Sea
Desiderata 2000
Dot Com REAL Story
Drunk Driver
Ducks
Elevator God
Engineer BBQ’s
Engineer "Takes"
Engineers....
Engineers vs. Business Executives....
Exit Poll
Facts You Might Remember
Fargo
Fear of Flying - NEW!
Feeling Old Today?
Fish Story
Fishin' License
Fishing Tackle
Forklift
Fraud Warning (Humor)
Funeral
Gendarme
God vs. Satan
Gogh Family
Golf
Hawaiian Rules
Head of Lettuce
Headlines
Heaven or Hell?
Helicopter
History of Balls
Hokey Pokey
Hole He Goes - Mondegreen
"Homosexual Agenda"
How Fights Start
Hypnotist - NEW!
I Took a Cab Home
If God Had a PC...
When Insults Had Class
Interview
Intro
Iraqi TV Guide
It's Elementary
Junk Mail Ideas
Kids on Life
Kids On Marriage
Laws - Origin
20 Laws of Life
Life in Silicon Valley
Life in Vermont
Liquor Warning Labels
Little Bars of Soap
Love and Marriage
Lying
MIT Student
Marketing
Marooned
Mens' Classes
Met Any of These People?
How I Met My Wife
Microserf
Microsoft
Military Specs
Mixed Breeds
Mom
Morons Among Us - NEW!
Moses and Jesus
Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky
Newsgroup Personalities
Next Witness!
Notable Bungles
Office Affair
Office Comebacks
Old is When ...
Old Timers Poem
Packages
Parrot and Chicken
Password Protection
Peace Talks
Perl in Latin
Phone Lines
Physician Statistics
Picture Without Words
Political Correctness
Prepared Chicken
Priest and Rabbi
Programmer and Engineer
Psychic Dog
Rabbi Advice
Rabbi's Advice
Raiders Fan
Rigged Survey
Rudolph
Seaman
Seattle Symphony
Senior Life
Senior Moment
Shy Guy
Singles Ad
Snippets - by Ed Lockhart
Son In Law
Southwest Airlines
Speeding Chicken
Spring Hiker's Alert
Talking Dog
Talking Frog
Talking Parrot
Texas Engineer
Thank You for Contacting Us
Then and Now...
Three Beers
Toasters
Tomato Garden
Tombstones
Traffic Stop
Trojan Hoax
Trucker
Two Nuns
Veni, Vidi, Velcro
Very Short Story
WWJD
WalMart Wine
Where to Retire
Things I Wish I'd Known
Women of Kabul
World War
Y2K Backup System
Yesterday
Zen Master
bin Sleepin