Life in Silicon Valley

Your household income is $140,000 and you can't afford shoes for the kids.

You think anything slower than DSL is barbaric, but can't get it in your neighborhood.

You know what DSL stands for.

You and your spouse almost come to blows deciding to hit Peet's or Starbucks.

You think that American food includes sushi, naan, pho, pesto and pad thai.

You met your neighbors once.

When asked about your commute, you answer in time, not distance.

Even though you work 80 hours per week on a computer, for relaxation you read your e-mail and peruse eBay.

You have worked at the same job for a year and people call you an 'old-timer'.

You have a special drawer devoted to T-shirts with the code names of products on them (such as 'Dragon Slayer,' 'Goofball,' 'Squad Car').

The T-shirts you value most were for products that never made it to market.

You can name four different programming languages and you are not a programmer.

You remember the names of the three closest cheap sushi joints, the location  of all the Fry's in the area and which companies your friends work for that are going public in the next year, but don't know the name of the mayor.

Your name is in the credits of at least one piece of software.

Standing in line at Starbucks you wonder why the employees don't call a head hunter.

You work 6 miles from your home and spend two hours a day commuting and $40 a week on gas.

Winter is when your lawn grows too fast and summer is when it dies.

You live on some of the richest farm land in the world but most of what you eat comes from South America on a boat.

Your best friend lives across town but you hardly ever see each other because after your commute you're too pooped to spend another hour driving to their home.

You have a Master's degree in engineering but half the people in your department either didn't go to college or have history degrees, except if you have a Master's from Stanford, in which case everyone in your department has a Master's degree from Stanford

You cringe when you see people in suits at your office, wondering if someone in management will make you stop wearing bunny slippers.

You would work for people you dislike if the 401K plan is self- directed.

You plan your vacation so that you don't have to drive back from the airport during commute hours.

You could walk to the market in 45 minutes, but taking public transit adds another three hours and you still have to walk 45 minutes.

You don't go to sporting events unless you are given tickets by your employer.

You have seen four movies in the last year on the day they opened, all with the rest of your department, during work hours.

You could sell your home and live like a king in 99% of the rest of the world, but don't because you could not afford to move back.