Feeling Old Today?


Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of that year's incoming freshmen. Here is the year's list for1999:

1. The people who are starting college this past fall across the nation were born in 1980.

2. They have no meaningful recollection of the Reagan Era and did not know he had ever been shot.

3. They were prepubescent when the Persian Gulf War was waged.

4. Black Monday 1987 is as significant to them as the Great Depression.

5. There has been only one Pope. They can only really remember one president.

6. They were 11 when the Soviet Union broke apart and do not remember the Cold War.

7. They have never feared a nuclear war. "The Day After" is a pill to them, not a movie.

8. They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

9. Tianamen Square means nothing to them.

10. Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

11. Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

12. Atari predates them, as do vinyl albums.

13. The expression "you sound like a broken record" means nothing to them.

14. They have never owned a record player.

15. They have likely never played Pac Man and have never heard of Pongee
Pongee?

16. Star Wars looks very fake to them, and the special effects are pathetic.

17. There have always been red M&M's and blue ones are not new. There used to be beige ones?

18. They may have heard of an 8 track, but probably never have actually seen or heard one.

19. The Compact Disc was introduced when they were 1 year old.

20. As far as they know, stamps have always cost about 32 cents.
What about 6-cent airmail stamps?

21. They have always had an answering machine.

22. Most have never seen a TV set with only 13 channels, nor have they seen a black-and-white TV.

23. They have always had cable.

24. There have always been VCR's, but they have no idea what BETA is.

25. They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

26. They were born the year that Walkmen were introduced by Sony.

27. Roller-skating has always meant inline for them.

28. The Tonight Show has always been with Jay Leno

29. They have no idea when or why Jordache jeans were cool.
Relax, overblown puffery isn't unique to any generation.

30. Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

31. They have never seen Larry Bird play, and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar is football player.

32. They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

33. The Vietnam War is as ancient history to them as WW1, WW2 or even the Civil War.

34. They have no idea that Americans were ever held hostage in Iran.

35. They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

36. They don't know who More was or where he was from.
Don't they mean "Mork" of "Mork and Mindy"? Why would anyone want to know where he was from?

37. They never heard: "Where's the beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a Camel, " or "de plane, de plane!"

38. They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. is.
"Dallas", the show which tried to elevate the Soaps to the status of respectability, is no more. Interestingly, the really mediocre soaps, such as "General Hospital" and "Days Of Our Lives", still play to a big audience.

39. The Titanic was found? I thought we always knew where it was.

40. Michael Jackson has always been white.

41. Kansas, Chicago, Boston, America, and Alabama are places, not groups.

42. Mickey D's never came in Styrofoam containers.

43. There has always been MTV

44. To which I might add: and it's always been that way. I wish someone from our parents' or grandparents' generation would come up with a "prequel". I'll post it! -- Alex


Return to HUMOR Index
The 100 MPH Goat
12 Apostles
21st Century Words
400 Trillion Trillion Pints of Beer
6th Grade Science
Age Barometer
Air Force Squawk Sheets
Alcohol WARNINGS
Amazing new discovery
Another Attorney Joke
Arthritis
Aviation Humor
Badtimes Virus
Bagpiper
Bagpipes
Bar Shorts
Bear and Pastor
Beer Festival
Beer and Flies
Richard's Believe it or not!
Best Diet
Bigger Guns
Biggest State!
Bill Clinton and St. Peter
1994's Most Bizarre Suicide
Fixin' To Sing The Blues
Boat Race
Bricklayer's Story
British newspapers
Bulwar-Lytton
By The Numbers
Cat Diary
Catholic School
Cats Top Ten
Chattanooga Choo Choo - NEW!
Cheerios
Chicken
Church
Church Memorial Plaque
Worst Commencement Advice
Corporate Compliance
Computer Haiku
Confessional
Congressman
Copy
Cow Strikes Trawler
Cowboy Jim
Crow Mystery Solved - NEW!
Cute Spell Checker
Candidate for Darwin Award...
Dead Horse
Defendant's Arm
Depressed At Sea
Desiderata 2000
Dot Com REAL Story
Drunk Driver
Ducks
Elevator God
Engineer BBQ’s
Engineer "Takes"
Engineers....
Engineers vs. Business Executives....
Exit Poll
Facts You Might Remember
Fargo
Fear of Flying - NEW!
Feeling Old Today?
Fish Story
Fishin' License
Fishing Tackle
Forklift
Fraud Warning (Humor)
Funeral
Gendarme
God vs. Satan
Gogh Family
Golf
Hawaiian Rules
Head of Lettuce
Headlines
Heaven or Hell?
Helicopter
History of Balls
Hokey Pokey
Hole He Goes - Mondegreen
"Homosexual Agenda"
How Fights Start
Hypnotist - NEW!
I Took a Cab Home
If God Had a PC...
When Insults Had Class
Interview
Intro
Iraqi TV Guide
It's Elementary
Junk Mail Ideas
Kids on Life
Kids On Marriage
Laws - Origin
20 Laws of Life
Life in Silicon Valley
Life in Vermont
Liquor Warning Labels
Little Bars of Soap
Love and Marriage
Lying
MIT Student
Marketing
Marooned
Mens' Classes
Met Any of These People?
How I Met My Wife
Microserf
Microsoft
Military Specs
Mixed Breeds
Mom
Morons Among Us - NEW!
Moses and Jesus
Good Luck, Mr. Gorsky
Newsgroup Personalities
Next Witness!
Notable Bungles
Office Affair
Office Comebacks
Old is When ...
Old Timers Poem
Packages
Parrot and Chicken
Password Protection
Peace Talks
Perl in Latin
Phone Lines
Physician Statistics
Picture Without Words
Political Correctness
Prepared Chicken
Priest and Rabbi
Programmer and Engineer
Psychic Dog
Rabbi Advice
Rabbi's Advice
Raiders Fan
Rigged Survey
Rudolph
Seaman
Seattle Symphony
Senior Life
Senior Moment
Shy Guy
Singles Ad
Snippets - by Ed Lockhart
Son In Law
Southwest Airlines
Speeding Chicken
Spring Hiker's Alert
Talking Dog
Talking Frog
Talking Parrot
Texas Engineer
Thank You for Contacting Us
Then and Now...
Three Beers
Toasters
Tomato Garden
Tombstones
Traffic Stop
Trojan Hoax
Trucker
Two Nuns
Veni, Vidi, Velcro
Very Short Story
WWJD
WalMart Wine
Where to Retire
Things I Wish I'd Known
Women of Kabul
World War
Y2K Backup System
Yesterday
Zen Master
bin Sleepin