The Top 10 Worst Words of Advice in a Commencement Speech

10 "Never take the DA's first offer."

9 "As you endeavor to make your mark in the world, remember this passage from 'Mein Kampf'..."

8 "A career, sound investments, and material possessions may be nice -- but you can't smoke *them* in your crack pipe..."

7 "There is no problem so small that it can't be solved with excessive violence."

6 "College can wait. Take a few years off to hone your Mortal Kombat skills to razor-sharp perfection!"

5 "When in doubt, vomit."

4 "As you walk down that great highway of life, ask yourself one question: Why don't I own a car?"

3 "Now a lot of people are going to try to fill your head with the crazy notion that heroin is bad for you..."

2 "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask who you can sue."

Number 1 Worst Words of Advice in a Commencement Speech...

1 "If there's one thing the world needs, it's more mimes."

Melinda, as not seen on Oprah and miming TGIF