The Campbells Are Coming ...
Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. No one cries when you chop up a bagpipe.
Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.
Q. What's the range of a bagpipe?
A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.
Did you hear the one about the bagpiper who parked his car with the windows open, forgetting that he had left his bagpipes in the back seat? He rushed back as soon as he realized it, but it was too late -- someone had already put another set of bagpipes in the car.